Review:
'I Hate Myself and Want to Die' Mike Castle Leads an Excellent Ensemble in J. Davis’s Moving Dark Comedy
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| Mike Castle as Jacob in J. Davis’s darkly funny, heartfelt indie film “I Hate Myself and Want to Die.” Courtesy Photo. |
In J. Davis’s darkly funny, unexpectedly tender indie film “I Hate Myself and Want to Die,” despair becomes the starting point—not the destination. The film follows Jacob, a struggling comic-book artist played with stunning depth by Mike Castle, who returns to the desert after a breakup, determined to quietly end his life. But nothing unfolds according to plan. His mother needs a ride to the drugstore, his cousin needs comfort, and his best friend simply wants to get high. Before long, Jacob is swept into a wild night of parties, fistfights, car chases, and unexpected emotional reckoning.
A Dark Comedy With Warmth
Writer-director J. Davis takes an undeniably heavy premise. He approaches it with a sure hand, a dry sense of humor, and an eye for the absurd complications of ordinary life. The comedy grows out of Jacob’s increasingly chaotic night without losing sight of the emotional pain beneath his choices.
Davis understands that pain and comedy can exist uncomfortably close together. Rather than announcing its emotional intentions, “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” lets its humanity emerge through interruptions, awkward encounters, and the imperfect people surrounding Jacob.
That restraint is one of the film’s greatest strengths. It never seems overly eager to prove that it has something important to say. The humor arrives naturally, as does the tenderness.
The film premiered at the Austin Film Festival, where it screened to sold-out crowds and prompted additional screenings. It later played at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival, the Chattanooga Film Festival, and the RiverRun International Film Festival, and won Best Feature at the Wilmington International Film Festival.
Mike Castle Gives the Film Its Center
Castle is the reason to see “I Hate Myself and Want to Die.” Jacob is fractured, frustrated, emotionally exhausted, and often caught between numbness and annoyance. Davis wisely resists making him more likable than he needs to be, and Castle brings an unforced quality to the role that keeps him from becoming merely a symbol of misery.
Castle allows Jacob’s frustration to build through small gestures, pauses, and glances. There is a charged stillness to his performance—the sense of someone whose inner life has reached a breaking point even as the world continues demanding that he show up.
That is what makes Jacob recognizable. He is someone overwhelmed by disappointment, embarrassment, rejection, or the crushing feeling of not becoming the person he expected to be. Or perhaps he is someone viewers have encountered only briefly, without recognizing the private struggle beneath the surface.
The old saying about walking a mile in another person’s shoes comes to mind. “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” invites that kind of empathy without becoming sentimental.
Castle is joined by Ali Gallo, Andre Hyland, Meredith Salenger and Leonora Pitts, an ensemble that gives the film texture and unpredictability. These characters may be messy, needy and occasionally oblivious, but they also represent the connections Jacob is struggling to recognize.
Desert Heat and Timelessness
Shot in Los Angeles, with cinematography by Evan Papageorgiou and costume design by Lindsey DeMay, the film has a tactile, sunbaked atmosphere. The desert becomes part of Jacob’s emotional landscape. You can almost smell the dry earth around the fields, feel the heat pressing down, and sense the irritation rising with the temperature.
There is also a strange, welcome timelessness to the film. Its world feels slightly out of step with the present—not in a forced, nostalgic way, but as though the story is suspended between eras. The effect gives Davis’s comedy a loose, lived-in quality that recalls the anything-can-happen energy of earlier offbeat youth movies while remaining rooted in its own emotional terrain.
Film Threat called the movie “a funny, thoughtful trip to the edge,” praising Davis’s ability to balance difficult subject matter, comedy, tight pacing, and strong performances. Film Threat
Davis has said that “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” is ultimately a story of transformation, about a young man who cannot see his own value even as the people around him can. The idea is never delivered as a lecture. Instead, it accumulates through the awkwardness, the encounters, and the growing evidence that Jacob matters to more people than he realizes.
The Verdict
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” is a sharp, surprisingly moving independent film that finds joy where viewers may least expect it. J. Davis directs with confidence and a clear affection for flawed people trying to survive a difficult night—and perhaps a difficult life.
Most importantly, Mike Castle gives the film its pulse. Jacob is memorable because he is complicated, wounded, and recognizably human. Castle turns a potentially bleak character into someone viewers want to follow, understand, and root for.
"This is an indie dark comedy with heart, a desert-set character study with bite and a film that knows even the most chaotic night can offer a reason to keep going."
By Lapacazo Magrira Sandoval, AmNews Curtain Raiser
About the Filmmaker
J. Davis is the writer and director of “I Hate Myself and Want to Die,” an 84-minute independent dark comedy starring Mike Castle, Ali Gallo, Andre Hyland, Meredith Salenger and Leonora Pitts.
Screening Details
Limited U.S. Theatrical Run Launches in October at Vidiots in Los Angeles; Digital Streaming Release on North American VOD Platforms on October 6, 2026
- Digital/VOD release: October 6, 2026, on North American digital HD, internet, cable, and satellite platforms.
- Limited theatrical launch: October 8, 2026, at Vidiots in Los Angeles.
- Special screening moderator: Jay Duplass.
- More theatrical cities: To be announced.
- Film website: Whitewater Films — “I Hate Myself and Want to Die”.
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